Epic Fail: The Sad Tale of Billy Joel's Talent

In these end times of floods, cyclones, famine, genocide, Republicans, Likudians etc, its very easy for one to get mired in the grand sadness of it all. And while those tragedies deserve the majority of our attention (and money), I'd be remiss if i didnt call attention to one of the more stunning tragedies to occur over the past thirty years:

The demise of Billy Joel's talent.

Here's a rather lengthy list that bears a "mull" or two: Always a woman, the Stranger, Allentown, Honesty, Movin Out, You May Be Right, Dont Ask Me Why, Just a Fantasy, Just The Way You Are, Still Rock n Roll To Me, Shes Got A Way, Big Shot, Scenes from an Italian Restaurant, Goodnight Saigon... and notice i didnt include any of the "mediocre but still passing good" songs (see: Tell Her About It, Piano Man, Zanzibar, Say Goodbye to Hollywood, Uptown Girl etc). I will go to my death saying that EVERYONE on this planet likes at least ONE billy joel song. Its completely statistically possible- there's just SO many songs. Plus, I've done my share of research. All your "counter culture pro-forma fashion kids" like at least one BJ song they keep secret. Like Hall and Oates.

But UNLIKE Hall and Oates, who are getting respect these days, our boy Bill is now the butt of bad driving jokes and five greatest hits collections.

So what happened?

Ill tell you what happened. We Didnt Start The Fire happened. And like a fire, with one fail swoop that musical migrane wiped out every scrap of talent he had. It even robbed him of potential talent in years to come. Its suck was that powerful.
Even that chicken neck Rod Stewart- who laid a many a musical 1000 year old egg (see: the abysmal "midnight train", "infatuation" (aka the song that will make you sterile ) has gained a shred of respectability for that MTV unplugged crapola he did back when. EVEN Roger Waters has amassed a pretty successful comeback career. EVEN Roger Waters. Yes I said that twice b/c it bears repeating.

But back to BJ and his spectacular failure. Is it because of the heights he attained that his fall was so great? Was this some sort of "icarian irony"? Did he fly too close to the sun with wings made of gin?

Just A Fantasy Vid bc they wont let me embed it
When I was a kid, this song really REALLY puzzled me in a way that well...I understood as I got older. In fact, each time I watch the video (which has been like fifteen times already this weekend) I understand a little more. One thing I dont understand: why that blonde didnt hang up on fugly Billy and get with the bearded one in the corner. He looks like a whole bunch of fun. Im WILDLY attracted to him. Its the jacket. The beard. That cocked eyebrow. Just about everything. Except for the fact that its really Billy Joel. BUT the way I see it: since the real Billy likes blondes, his alter ego must like brunettes, right? That guy can drunk dial me ANYTIME.

Honesty (live). Japanese version with the words so YOU TOO CAN SING TO IT!

Damn. This is a purty song isnt it? Its up there in the Nick Drake depressing category, but its nice. I think every girl loves this song. Its in our DNA to enjoy songs where men tell us about how we are so special and honest. Even I like this song, and I dont like love songs.