Saturday, May 8, 2010

Thats Not Entertainment

Its fucking nightmarish. On a couple of levels. All of which you are lucky enough to read me discuss. Dont say i never gave you anything.

Ok. First, some advice. Just SHAKE it off. Go for a walk, drink a gallon of gin, do push ups... do whatever it is you need to do to allow you to eternal sunshine of the spotless mind this shit and wipe that look of horror off your face. Its just a song and dance routine after all. Yes yes, most dance routines dont have singing triplets walking around like crabs, and showing off the moves they honed @ the exorcist dance studio, but still, theres some choreography and that qualifies it technically as dance. Dance isnt scary*. Usually.

Second. Ok, a song about solid potato salad. I think the aim here is to continue to eat this salad, repeatedly. As in one plate after the other. And then, break all your bones to burn off what you just ate Like that whole slide down your back and eat that creepy ass apple thing she did. I mean, i took off a week from work just to think about it, and i really cant see any other reason for whatever it was you just watched. Maybe you can?

Anyway, as appealing as the Shining Twins plus one serving me clumpy potato salad is, the lyrics are really what stir me (pun totally intended). Im palid; does their advice apply to me? But i cant understand half of what they are saying! What if i need this information? I got "POE day TOE salad" and "some shit about groovy" but they lost me afterwards. And im sure everyone involved in this trash ( ironically, much like the potato they sing about) is takin a dirt nap, so there's no way i can ask. Bad news DOES come in threes.

Now, lets get to the meat and POTATOES here. No, what makes this mess ponder worthy is that this was considered entertainment. Its actually from "thats entertainment" (part three, but still). From what i gather, said entertainment films are the equivalent of the "entertainment intensive immersion class": oodles of gene kelly and "shit, that name sounds familiar" people singing and dancing, and, were representative of the A list of entertainment routines of the day. Which makes me wonder: to what generation did a song about solid potato salad appeal to? And are they dead yet?

After google did my math, this shitty ditty is 66 years old. (hmph, wheres that other 6 when you need it). So, if the average life of a man is like 86 or something, there is a possibility that there are, walking amongst us, people who actually thought this passed for "entertainment".

Yes, some of these people walk among us. And they should be applauded. Cos this, despite my complaints, IS some serious shit: and to survive this assault on the senses, and to live in an era that considered THIS entertainment prolly makes you have wontons of steel. Just imagine: instead of songs about sex, it was songs about food. And other boring nouns. Really. Lets raise our plates to them. Cos really, theyve earned it.