Austin Wrongness

Nightly recap. Plusses: FOUND SOME REALLY GOOD PIZZA. Greasy new york pizza.
A good old fashioned passive aggressive game of "napkin insult roulette". (see below)

Minuses:
The same drink fluctuating between 6 dollars and 4 dollars.

An RSVP only party with THREE people in it which we were almost denied entrance to b/c we didnt rsvp. Im glad they decided to allow us entry after we said "uh, well i guess we'll go somewhere with people in it".

The loser power-trippin door person that had on a Keffiyeh (of course). I wonder, are the sandstorms that bad in Austin? Maybe I could have saved us some heartache if i engaged him in a discussion concerning his feelings on the whole palestinian israeli conflict, but i have a feeling the only thing he could tell me is how much he paid for that fug in HOT TOPIC.

As if that wasnt bad enough: THE ROTTEN MOLDY CHERRY on top of this waste of time sundae.

Finding out that a record exists that meshes the WHO and DRUM AND BASS. Even worse? Seeing people go apeshit over it. Absolutely APESHIT. Worser? Two seconds of the following tracks immediately meshed into something else: Set it off, that liquid liquid song... as soon as i got up the song changed to something awful. Was my dancing that bad?

Worsest? Um its kinda hard to beat that who thing. That really was something you have to hear to believe. Classic "just because you CAN doesnt mean you SHOULD". People have no respect for "shouldn't".

Who told you that looked good?

Did i miss the hipster memo?

So far, i have counted like about a DOZEN white sunglasses around Austin.

Who told the wearers these looked ok? They dont. You all look SO STUPID. SO SO SO STUPID.
To quote the dead milkmen: How long did it take to get that way...what a terrible waste of energy.

One outfit, in particular, was so whoreanus that i nearly lost my lunch. Actually, if i threw up on her outfit, it may have looked a little nicer. Puke tends to be rather bland in color, and this chick needed a tune down. Its an outfit that made me wish i was not only color blind, but BLIND.

I find it hysterical that the hipsters are seeking to emulate those that they would have made fun of back in the 80s for wearing that garbage. I also find it fun to be reading Less than Zero amongst a bunch of people dressing like its 86. A year not known for its fashion.

That being said, and fashion crimes aside, I did meet the dudes from Hows your news. For those of you who dont know "hows your news" they are a bunch of peeps who do a news program. I guess the term for them is retarded (or mentally challenged) but i find it hard to call them either after i saw the "normals" wearing what i did today. I am a big fan of hows your news, and they were all very nice and very friendly and I am quite sad i didnt get to take a photo with them. Actually it was the highlight of my trip so far.

And im not being ironic here. In a place so filled with pomposity, arrogance and well, bad outfits, its refreshing to be around people who just "are". And who smile. And who are nice. And so friendly. We did look like such jerks b/c we carried on so much when we saw them. I dont think ive ever fawned so hard in my life. I spent a majority of my childhood around the "clincially retarded" (both mild and severe) and i feel very strongly about their rights and believe in their capabilities.

In fact, lord help the dipshit who makes fun of these guys at SXSW. You can all visit me in a Texan jail. Or go to my funeral b/c i will probably be killed.

I met him. Hes soooo nice!


Hows your news trailer

Ask a local and Pants off dance off

A hearty and unintelligible thank you to Prince Motherfucking Klassen for the record store info. I scored some GREAT GREAT GREAT stuff down hea in Texassss. Big Audio Dynamite for 2$! Esther Phillips record? 1$. Repurchased Forever Changes for, um 8$ but you cant win them all can you.

Anyway, back to my 'asking a local'. This place, being austin, has a lot more to offer besides the worlds LARGEST whole foods. However, one thing this city is lacking is places to purchase socks.
Records? Cool tshirts? Be@rbricks? Good kicks? Austin's got it all. Socks? No.

So if anyone reads this and knows Austin texas, can they PLEASE tell me where to find socks? Ive washed mine so much they have now lost their elasticity. Like me.

Re: the pants off dance off. Fun media temple party last night where, during Oh Mickey, my wonderful husband who never tightens his belt properly lost his pants and didnt notice till about two seconds after they hit the deck so to speak.

A fun time was had by all.

PS. the store is waterloo on S Lamaar if anyone is interested. Nice people. Good selection of used records. REAL GOOD.

You call that a bagel? You call this zzzzzzz

To continue the parade of awful NY food here in texas, i ate what was CALLED a bagel this morning.
Let me tell you, whatever it was, and it was something, was NOT a bagel.
Round? Yup. Hole in center? Yup. Toilet mint? No. Bagel? No.

Awfully disjointed entries huh? Well its late and im tired and in a hotel bar in my pajamas. Well technically a tshirt that says "home taping is killing it" and a nice pair of sweats and sneakers, so the outfit says chillin', but the hair and face say "just woke the hell up". Especially the face. Everyone in the bar is laughing and having a good old time. I am sitting in front of a fireplace on my mac alone on a really ugly couch. Which is pretty good actually. Im going to sit here and read less than zero. There's my night! Before you think im "working it" here, at this bar, my husband is snoring really loud, hence my being here rather than upstairs in my cold, noisy room.

Whats next for me? Media Temple party with...Prince Klassen again tomorrow. I wonder if the breakdancers will show up again. As in "you're breaking my heart with your dancing". I wonder if he will play Bumblebee Unlimited again, and whether i will, once again, be the only person dancing to it. Or if it will be thuds and thumps and break my heart dancing. Who knows!

And for those who have been privately expressing your jealousy re: this vacation, consider the following: no evening has the possibility of being ended with good pizza.