Thursday, July 31, 2008

Thank you Piet Parra

For making one of the best videos ive seen in years. Ou est les hos! OU EST LES HOS? I ask that a lot you know.

The song? Eh. Its fun (bout food and biatches) but annoying after like the first two minutes or so of meal-metaphor. I got over it pretty fast. BUT! The video is a solid A+. And its fun to see the designs animated. I like chicken people. Durrrty chicken people!

Yes, he did the song too. Half of it. Kinda the crappy half if you ask me. Im choosing not to focus on it.

BBC- link to slide show of art
interview on art animation and...breakfast.
Rockwell makes me poorer

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

When you got that glow.....

And here I am, going through my life, COMPLETELY unaware that this movie exists. NO MORE KIDS! Now I know, and it feels GREAT! My life is completely um, complete! Or replete. Completely replete. Yes!

I have no voice left; ive been laughing so hard. I need to get this movie IMMEDIATELY.

Is that....Vanity? It IS her. 2 in one week! First I see Shelia E hawking a bible on tv, and now this? This reminds me, I need to get her book. She had sex with Nikki Sixx you know- and was a pretty bad crackhead. Looking at the timeline chances are she was hittin the pipe while she was making this movie. Which pretty much explains it.

I wonder, what is more terrible-r- this or pile driver? OOoohh. Tough one. Im saying this, simply b/c Ive IMDB'd this mess and too many talented people were involved in it. Whereas, Pile Driver is the sort of lyrical work I would expect from a bunch of people who get dropped on their head for a living. Shame on you, Berry Gordy!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Take the challenge: WWF 1985

Unfortunately, I realized last night that I can name most of these morons. Can you? Yes, i cut off Randy Savage, but you can see Elizabeth, so its not really important that i include him.

DIG Mr Wonderful on DRUMS!

Bonus b/c i love you: Piledriver by COCO B WARE!

From the second wrestling record. No I dont have it.

It actually sounds like he is saying "love is like a slow death", but i realized its "love is like a slow dance". And i said, oooh boy, here comes some GOOD writing. Then, just as I felt my expectations could fall no lower (read: after the first chorus) came the most inspired line of this um, uhhhh, musical composition:

Sometimes feels just great.

See? This is why I always say be careful what you wish for. This is exactly what I get for being irritated at the overuse of metaphors when it comes to love in song. I get piledriver by Koko B Ware. A song so completely devoid of human experience that it may as well have been written by my toaster. Isnt there some sort of happy medium? Or am I really just expecting too much?

Aw... my wedding song (!)

Those POOR sound engineers. This makes Piledriver listenable.

Who am I kidding, both of these songs are going to be on my ipod as soon as i find them.

Especially piledriver. That goes in my "romantic" playlist. And coincidentally, my toasters also.

Friday, July 25, 2008

It Came From the Den. Again

No not this. This record is awful. I just like how the frog is staring up her dress.





and this needs no introduction.

this didnt come from my den. It comes from my heart. An extraordinary burn by a brilliant man.

My sexual problem- that was Henry James, right?

Monday, July 21, 2008

Gifts from my den

One of the cooler things to come from cleaning out my den.
the rest of them are on my mywaste page.

From a compilation with no cover

Yes, its rod stewart on vocals. But its good anyway.

April come she will

I love this fucked up song.

this is the best i could do as far as videos go, but this song KILLS. I am surprised I havent heard it on any mixes this year. Come on people. Use it.

Jailbird song

I wonder what she did.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Cookie Monster & Larry Levan

This is good isnt it?

Just when I think I cant love cookie monster and sesame street anymore than I already do, i find this remix. I've been on a serious classic PBS "thing" lately, and this is just...well disco icing on the proverbial cake... i mean, cookie.

Sesame Street: The disco king, cookie monster.

Just b/c i love this.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Are they the same band?

F*kd if i know portugese...both pretty good, so im inclined to believe they are.

and this...



and for you...some Mittoo...cos i want to.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Frustrated Pumpkin Women and Dirty Water in Boston?

The Standells: Dirty Watah

This is one of those songs that I knew and yet, never quite "got". In my own defense, the singer doesnt do a great job of clearly annunciating the object of his affection, and, the majority of times i heard this song I was either out n about (read: drunk), or it was background music (read: busy). I never even knew the Standells sang it. Yes yes, I know. But rather than dwell on my ignorant past, Id rather discuss my irritated future. Because now that I get it, I'm not sure if i'm offended.

Me like boston. Me spend many formative summer in taxachusetts. Me family tree is firmly planted there. Yes, the chinatown stank there is waaay worse than NYC's chinatown stank (which is quite a feat in and of itself) and its expensive and sterile and um... boring. Oh, and it blessed us with the earache that is Boston Hardcore.

But regardless, it didn't/doesn't deserve a geographic love song that evokes images of cholera/disentery. Plus, what kind of song celebrates the fact that the girls there are sexually frustrated b/c of a midnight curfew. Sex or curfew? In NYC we say screw curfew. What's UP with that Boston: will you turn into pumpkins if you stay out later?

Maybe the girls have to be in by midnight b/c thats when the puking from the 8 pm binge drinking starts.

I told you I knew boston.

In my defense: this was my favorite standells song and i dont mind the minor threat version at all, despite minding minor threat.

the witch... b/c the sonics are way better.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Wednesday Music Junk Post

Supermax: Funky austrian producer makes dopeness record.

food mention! A+!

Love Machine

Why Not Non Sequitur Thyme

Esperanto: Night of the Wolf

Baby Huey: Hard Times

Violent Femmes: Gone Daddy Gone

* i dont like this band, but i do like this song. And how much of a babe is the singer despite looking a lot like Ted Bundy?

Sigh, yes, I think TB was physically attractive, and yes, i find this internally disturbing. BUT, this guy here has all the hot and none of the guilt that comes with finding a horrible sadistic sociopathic murderer attractive, so he kinda wins. He'd totally win if his band wasn't so...."meh". Add it up is a lame ass song about sexual angst. I hated seeing people sing and get "into" that song. Creepy. Same with Kiss Off.

the Dogs: your mamma's on crack rock

the end.

Besides how the hell can i follow that one up, anyway. Maybe that Necro I need drugs video. But i cant hang with that now, or maybe ever again. I've got more dishes to do.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Dr Hook award for retarded sexuality in product advertisement

Whats his secret? Is he with the Mossad? Does he have crabs? Is he going to make her marry him?

No nothing that exciting. The secret is he has fake hair. Which is infinitely more disturbing than any of the above.

heres pat boone losing his toupee. CLASSIC!

Here's a bad toupee that stays on.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Free Soup With Haircut PART TWO!!!! It Lives!

Wondershowzen. Beat kids. BEAT KIDS! I I totally forgot how much i loved this offensive show. Especially beat kids. I also love the whole "caddyshack, hat (now haircut) and free soup bit". A double win.

Instructional Video on Police, and janitor hatin.

God bless you PFFR

Saturday, July 12, 2008


DLR Impostor!

Sigh of relief! We didn't almost lose David Lee Roth!

Who's partying tonight? ME thats who.

Nancy & Lee vs Dolly: Down From Dover

JESUS. What a depressing song! I listened to the Nancy version first, and was like, um...Lee sounds like he needs a cough drop.
THEN i heard dolly's version, and I actually started crying. I think this may rank up there with "death be not proud" (the book) the Plague and that song by Elton John where its a guy dying of aids* talking to his dad as far as the most upsetting artistic creations on the planet.

"And dying was her way of telling me he wont be coming back from dover....". The baby dies. THE BABY DIES OF SADNESS. The little bastard child dies of sadness b/c her dad is a fuckup. I need me a hanky. Really. No hyperbole here.

This song is the ultimate birth control. Play it to those horny high school kids- they will be too depressed to even want to have sex ever again.

Dolly's version:

Nancy & Lee's slightly more upbeat version.

Dolly Wins. By a long shot.

* heres the video from EJ that I mentioned earlier, in case you are a masochist.Bonus! Its from And the Band Played On I made it to 1:25 before i started crying. A personal best, considering I've seen this movie, video etc at least twenty times. ATBPO is, without a doubt, one of THE MOST DEPRESSING MOVIES in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE. I watched it once with a group of five rather manly male friends, and each one of us was SOBBING by the end of that movie. One quite uncontrollably. No one spoke for a good ten minutes after it was over. Then we all got disgustingly drunk and someone threw up in our sink.

Here's a MAD Tv sketch re: elton john's funeral songs. Me needs levity.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Im On This Like White On Rice

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! What is this? What is this?

DC Recordings: an answer to my prayers?

MIXES by DC Artists and Songs
*listen to em all, but the White light circus one is especially good. Starts a bit slo, but makes up for it. And yes, Im biased b/c it has a cloud one song in it. But that doesn't mean its not good. B/c it is and you need to get on it.

This is a record label that i found through a song, through a band, through a google search and lo! a label with a bunch of good things on it! I spent all last night going through this website and this label etc and cot damn! Nice work. Color me impressed and color me poor since Im going to probably buy a bunch of records from them. Color me also semi informed re: prog rock now, b/c there is some prog rock thrown in these mixes. I like it: being fed good food w/o knowing its good for me.

In addition to the good mixes, the bands themselves are actually good! Despite being English! The record covers are good too! WTF England?

Not since Mo' Wax have I been this excited about England and its music. I SHUDDER to think that the UK may have gotten its groove back. The exchange rate is too awful for this to happen.

but back to free and pleasant things.

Shoegazy Fields! Revisited! ALLLRIGHT!
The Oscillation/ The Orichalc Phase

There is a serious lack of this stuff (these bands) on the toob, so enjoy the mixes. Im breaking out the marmite* and PG Tipps.

*Yes, I do eat it, and have for years (yes, VGMT its better). Its healthy and its especially fun to tell people you don't like that its actually english chocolate and watch what happens when they eat it. Well its fun if you like making a hypocrite throw up. At the time I sure did. Still do.
See you in hell, i guess!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Why Does No One Care?

Does anyone realize how close we came to losing an iconic rock GOD this morning?

David Lee Roth almost died from a peanut allergy this morning.

Yes, we almost lost david lee roth. Yes. David Lee Roth. DAVID LEE ROTH.

Let it sink in a little. I know its upsetting. I was upset. In fact, Im still quite shaken. Here I am watching news about Iranian rockets, and gmail tells me DLR almost died this morning. Why is attention not being paid? Why does no one care? Did I give dave a kennahura by including him in my "celebrate you although you arent dead yet" post?

Well, its all relatively ok b/c the Canadians saved him. GO CANADA! Not since I was able to drink in your country at 19 have I been so proud of our neighbor to the north. You did us a solid. You did ME a solid.

This song stinks but the video is funny.

My doctor said I have to take a LAXATIVE!

And heres some Van Halen for you.

God I love this band. Stay alive Diamond Dave. PLEASE. At least until i see you in concert with VH.

Then do as you will.

Bonus! My favorite canadians- 5 neat guys!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Journey: The Video Game


RUN FOR THE ESCAPE VEHICLE! Leave those herpetic girls (and guys!) alone! Which ones are the girls? The blue and pink ones that look like bugs, I think. I cant be too sure since everything sort of looks like everything else in this game. If only Journey had paid as much attention to the production of their video games as they did their records.

Heres the FAST PACED and EXCITING game play!

Whoa! Dont blink! You'll miss, something that looks like everything else in this game.
Im no gamer, but even I know this is one AWFUL game.

But Journey's songs translated nicely (read: are barely recognizable)

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Quality Cinema: The Garbage Pail Kids Movie

You know a movie is good when its underwritten by Topps Chewing Gum!

I think my nom de guerre reveals me as a GPK fan. I'm consistently entertained by all things "fart/bodily functions/stupid/low brow" humor, and well, I dont know how much lower you can get than GPK. They were great b/c they were completely literal, collectable, and b/c I was beat up once with a Cabbage Patch Kid, so i like things that mock them. (true story: my friend also broke her nose on one, those faces are &*@#&(&@# hard).

This crappy movie lives up to the astoundingly high bar set by the crappy trading cards that came before it. Its really, truly, a colossal piece of garbage. Everything about it is bad. Everything. Which means its totally good.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Happy 4th From Sam the Eagle

An open letter

Dear currently hip/pretty good dj I saw last night:

First the good. Your set was good: solid A-. I would have liked to stay longer, but everyone was pissing and moaning that they wanted Mahmoun's or sleep, so i was unable to hear most of it, but the ten minutes or so I heard we're better than what i heard the prior two hours. I regret leaving early, which is unusual for me and a club and a dj who i havent seen and whose band I dont like.

Now the bad.

As you walked upstairs, I couldnt help but notice your sneakers.

Im not sure if anyone told you, but these are girls shoes. Not even ladies shoes: GIRLS shoes. I had them in junior high, and I loved them dearly. Girls/ladies have so little that you men haven't taken from us. If i cant get a decent pair of Nikes without making them myself (b/c the boys ones are ALWAYS nicer), you cant wear Skippy's. No. Not yours.

On a second, and somewhat more important note re: these shoes. Why on earth would you want to wear them? I cant possibly think of a more emasculating shoe. They make your feet look small and dainty. And in WHITE no less? What's next?

Which brings me to my third and final point. If this is the fashion these days (this= female shoes on men) then i fucking QUIT. I quit this life, i quit this earth, I just about give up. It's bad enough my ears are assaulted on a daily basis with Danity Kane and all the other garbage (including the "hip shit" people like). My eyes deserve to have peace.

So thank you DJ man for a good evening. I'll cut you some major slack b/c no one cares what shoes you wear and b/c Im happy you chose to think more about your record choices than your footwear choices- but for the rest of the male population, please DO NOT IMITATE this trend. Some people have a "pass": chances are YOU DONT.


Thursday, July 3, 2008

Thank God Part II

I can die now. I finally found the last song i was looking for.

I cant even think of how many times i typed in "on the beat" and "lyrics" and "up the street" etc. in google and i got nothing.
But ALAS! I was patient. Diligent. Clarity of purpose, peeps.

As usual it probably wasnt worth all the effort and time i extended. Like most things. But it was fun. Like most wastes of time.