Good Tune

Forgot about this one. Saw it on a list this AM.


Jeez lots of songs about dancers. I can name like five offhand: dancer (soccio) tiny dancer (elton) private dancer (tina), another one i dont want to mention b/c it may real some significant lameness on my part. Wait, thats 4. I can only do 4! Ive turned myself into a liar! The disappointment! The shame!

Mr Glitch, decimals, farms, king crabs and the reiners

Mr. Glitch has become like, an obsession in this house since Mathman made the scene again. He' s just such a cynical little moany whirlwind! Ornery! Haggard! Over-it! LOVE HIM.

So, here is a MATHMAN where he wins. I found this one slightly difficult! Maybe I need to find a SONG about decimals.

Sorry, instead I found a song about fractions.

JESUS CHRIST THIS IS TOTALLY FKING TERRIBLE. Really. This is like "agadoo" bad.

"action at the fraction farm"? Sure the girls are ugly, and the place looks like it would smell like animal feces and dank, but is it really necessary to refer to the place as a farm?

Speaking of farms:

This is a scene from a movie called "the Loved One" starring a lot of people. Its a classic "WTF" movie and may or may not have been banned when it came out.

Wiki this movie. Read the book. It may be, with Wheres Poppa? one of the most inappropriate films ever.

Of course, here is Wheres Poppa. This is one of my favorite scenes in ANY MOVIE.

"keeps it in a jar in his room...".

Im kinda pissed that i cant find the scene in Central Park online. Where his brother is in the gorilla suit and meets garett morris in the park. You know that scene; with the song called "you better move that ass". The one where he gets the flowers delivered to him in jail?

Tragedy!

Run DMC on Reading Rainbow

Not their finest moment.

lol, rock the shelves. thats my personal favorite. Its about reading. HAW HAW HAW.

PBS crap from MY PAST

Picture pages picturepagestimetogetyourpicturepages


No wonder Im such an idiot. Just look at this crud I used to watch. I LOVED THIS. Watching it now, im slightly horrified.
First, the whole worm/bird having to share a home. That is just terrible, terrible that the poor things have to live together instead of being able to act out gods great plan of one being the other's dinner. All because of the ever increasing cost of local rents in their area. Can a premise BE MORE STUPID? The only thing that comes close to being as stupid is that whole "tshirt over a collared shirt" thing he has going on. Who does this?

Oh, and how BITTER am I about that pen? Did they ever make it? I dont think they did. I wanted that pen. I still want that pen. Nothing screams mature adult like a beeping pen, right? I just checked: they did make the pen and there are some really crazy people out there willing to pay some serious money for one. DAYUMN! Picture Pages!

OK: GET READY PEOPLE. Im about to introduce you to what I consider, my lowest, LOWEST, point of tv watching as a child.

Square One TV. It taught you math and it was on PBS. It was on after some science show i used to dig. I also stunk at math so i figured, eh. Im not even going to do the math and see how old i was when i watched it, b/c its probably terribly embarrassing. (Phew, i was like 10).

Im game for anything that i may learn something from, and (on the bright side) this is really terrible, even by childrens programming standards. That menacing tornado thing and his bone chilling intro music! Cant you just FEEL THE TENSION? No? Granted, this wasnt a mensa exam: its PBS for god sakes. And probably like Canadian. BUT: I bet you didnt know a square was actually a rectangle. I didnt.

And therein lies the problem with SQ1. Well, one of them. Sometimes, in between gasps of astonishment, eye closing winces and bearing witness to what some will do for an Actor's Equity card, you learnd-ed things. But usually not.

Here's a love song about....percentages.

"eight hundreths of the time youre the only girl on my mind". SWOON! If someone said that to me, I'd break 80% of their teeth and knee them in 50% of their balls. That adds up to 130%. Im a special kinda gal I guess. I cant be confined by your 100% oppressive normality. I just wont.

Be/c im feeling generous Im going to spare you Mathnet, and all the other "math related" skits and songs. You tube them tho. But make sure you have a bucket handy. Use it for either puking in or hitting me as punishment for introducing you to its awfulness. Please NOT BOTH. One or the other.

And for redemption: This show was great. Im hoping this is included in the "life flashing before my eyes" thing when i die.

But, knowing my luck it will be SQUARE ONE!

Worst Musician in the World Contender 2: Fela Kuti

I can almost hear the anger in some of you. I know, how DARE I, DARE I insult such a man: a music man, a Nigerian political hero, a man who everyone seems to think is soooo sooo talented and has, since his death, become the embodiment of African Music/Pride? WHY?

B/c Fela Kuti, in life, was a TOTAL PIECE OF SHIT. And b/c im kinda horrified that there is almost NOTHING on the internet about how FK barely qualified as a human being. Im pretty good at separating art from artist, and i try very hard no to allow the idiocy of one to affect my appreciation of the other. But some peeps are just SO FOUL. FK is one of em.

I remember DISTINCTLY how he acted when AIDS hit Africa- how he kept doing/espousing his polygamist/fuckeverythingthatmoves philosophy when he, in fact, had AIDS. And rather than take his status as a man with incredible political power and use it to fight rumors like "bleach kills aids if you douche with it", he stuffed it, fucked it (didnt bag it though) and died, taking a bunch of people with him. I wonder, how many groupies/wives died because of him? Dunno b/c its completely not spoken about. The only reason i know this stuff is because I read the NYT religiously at that point, and FK was a big problem for those trying to address AIDS in Africa. I remember thinking "what an asshole". And its pretty sad that now this asshole has become some sort of patron saint of pan africanism?

BULLSHIT. Africa has many, MANY, other talented, caring and giving people to choose from if you are looking for people to be proud of. Why him? Can you pick someone better to idolize? Someone both talented AND with a conscience?  

Fela Kuti is such bullshit. I need a cup of coffee. And possibly a sedative.

PS. his music stank too people. Sorry! 

Here is the ONE thing i found from http://www.jaybabcock.com/fela.html (thank you sir!)

I Will Never Die."  (ed note: Wrong Em Boyo!)

Fela told the press that recent his skin rashes were spiritual in origin-he was "changing skin," with a new skin scheduled to appear on January 1, 1992. (ed: lizards and snakes shed skin).  He claimed he was still making love three hours a day-as well as brushing his teeth for an hour and taking 45 minutes in the bath, during which he would do "a series of body-building exercises." (ed: unless its heaving and crying to work out his gag reflex, i aint interested) 

He dismissed as "junk" the 11 members of his band who left him during his 1991 US tour, instead emphasizing that he had a great time: "I had sex with all my girls in my band, and I got two extra American girls. Also I had a regulation that any Nigerian who wanted to see me [backstage] must give me present, and the only present I like is igbo [Indian hemp]."  (Ed. I wouldnt spit in his face if it were on fire)

Smoking one of his 15-inch-long igbo joints, the 56-year-old Fela even claimed he was immortal: "I will never die; my ancestors have told me so."  (ed: Well then Fella you need new people!)

Fela's Choice  (ugh.)

But Fela's health had begun to deteriorate. It was obvious to those close to him that something was seriously wrong. The sexually promiscuous Fela-who had refused to use condoms his entire life, on the grounds that they were synthetic, non-African and a conspiracy against black men experiencing full pleasure-had AIDS. He refused anything but traditional African folk remedies.

"I think he thought he could not catch the disease," says Femi (Ed: Femi is his less offensive son). "I don't know why. But back then, nobody has really taken the disease very seriously. So many people have died from the disease in Nigeria and we don't hear because nobody comes out to say 'Yes, he died from AIDS.' Everybody believes that it's a shameful disease."
(Ed. THIS IS WHY I CANT STAND HIM)

"Fela did not have to die from AIDS," says Sandra. "People don't have to die from AIDS in the '90s. That was the choice Fela made.

Um. Ok Sandy Baby. You keep telling yourself this. Just keep it to yourself. I just love how Fela was so "pro africa roots", but yet he had no problem pouring gallons of gasoline on his Nigerian family tree when all he needed was a goddamn bag of sand (and some BALLS) to put the fire out.  

Nice hero. 

Disco House & unexpected nostalgia

Wow, this post started out kinda fun and then ended up making me feel sort of sad!

ORS. Sizzle!


Switch: the best beat in town


How many times have you heard this sampled?


Kings of Tomorrow: Finally

Jesus. I need to email this song to someone.

Sigh. This song made that self portrait i hide in my attic all deformed.


I need to stop here. Im feeling very "get off my lawn-ish".

Movie Review: I Tried

It was an unintentional haiku- now its intentional

I tried to watch it.
I tried for six whole minutes.
I suggest you dont.