An open letter

Dear currently hip/pretty good dj I saw last night:

First the good. Your set was good: solid A-. I would have liked to stay longer, but everyone was pissing and moaning that they wanted Mahmoun's or sleep, so i was unable to hear most of it, but the ten minutes or so I heard we're better than what i heard the prior two hours. I regret leaving early, which is unusual for me and a club and a dj who i havent seen and whose band I dont like.

Now the bad.

As you walked upstairs, I couldnt help but notice your sneakers.



Im not sure if anyone told you, but these are girls shoes. Not even ladies shoes: GIRLS shoes. I had them in junior high, and I loved them dearly. Girls/ladies have so little that you men haven't taken from us. If i cant get a decent pair of Nikes without making them myself (b/c the boys ones are ALWAYS nicer), you cant wear Skippy's. No. Not yours.

On a second, and somewhat more important note re: these shoes. Why on earth would you want to wear them? I cant possibly think of a more emasculating shoe. They make your feet look small and dainty. And in WHITE no less? What's next?



Which brings me to my third and final point. If this is the fashion these days (this= female shoes on men) then i fucking QUIT. I quit this life, i quit this earth, I just about give up. It's bad enough my ears are assaulted on a daily basis with Danity Kane and all the other garbage (including the "hip shit" people like). My eyes deserve to have peace.

So thank you DJ man for a good evening. I'll cut you some major slack b/c no one cares what shoes you wear and b/c Im happy you chose to think more about your record choices than your footwear choices- but for the rest of the male population, please DO NOT IMITATE this trend. Some people have a "pass": chances are YOU DONT.

Thnx!