But Nature Played This Trick On Me.

Get your whatever those flowers were and stick em out of your back pocket and SING ALONG! Gladiolas? Was that them?



I guess given the cyclical nature of life, it would only be a matter of time before i started....ugh.... hold on. Swallowing hard here. Liking the smiths again. Yes, the smiths. I will admit it: i was one of those kids, except I liked Marr better than Moz. I never was obnoxious about it, but ugh, alone in my room...some serious lameness. SERIOUS LAMENESS. Not black lipstick/goth lameness, but kinda close. Belting out I wont share you (was it about Johnny?) and crying. Yodeling to Shakespeares Sister (or w/e thta song was). Dedicating unhappy birthday to someone on college radio. Having unhappy birthday dedicated to ME on college radio. (my comeback? Sick of you by GWAR! Eat me!)

Anyodosurungus, after college, you couldnt get me NEAR that band. My friends? oh, they got a little too near one or two of those guys for my tastes, which led to all sorts of information that made me like them even less as a band. Depressing. It all reminded me too much of England. Too much of college. Too much of the anglophiles i stayed with in college. Too much of college IN england. Too much of Tiswas. I even allowed my Mozdisgust to trickle onto Johnny Marr's side band, who i never checked out. Sorry Johnny. (Note: electronic did not suffer the same fate b/c its half new order and well, dont get me started on that band b/c we will be here for a while discussing their MERITS and how they are AWESOME).

But, maybe its the cold weather, or the tea ive been drinking, but im curious as to why, all the SUDDEN, I think this band is great again. Not great enough to suffer through a night of hipster hell to listen to the music tho. I did that in 95-98. Not doing it again and not sure why anyone would bother in the first place.

But, i digress. Moz and Marr were good. And maybe i just needed a rest. Momentary lapse of reason, or, earth shattering rediscovery of lost youth and fun albeit british times?


PS. Pretty Girls make graves was scribbled on letters/ on mix tapes i got from boys a lot back in like hs. Almost exclusively from straight edge boys. Ugh, you know, "put a smiths song on your tape to show you how "in touch with yourself" you are. I never thought a smiths song on a tape was evidence of anything other than just that: idiot introspection, but now thinking about it, said inclusion on these woo-tapes is disturbing for two reasons: either (a) said boys were too dumb to realize it was a song about being um, uh, not on her 'team', or, b) someone was trying to tell me something. Given the people in question, i am REALLY sure it was A.

Dont blame me, i voted for Kodos

I need a laugh after today's "obama bucks" bullshiat. That stinks.

Citizen Kang. Entirety. Nice. Who loves you?

Stop! We have reached the limits of what rectal probing can teach us!

My second favorite: the abortion rally.

Hot Air: Bad Commercial

im laughing so hard i am crying. After 50 seconds of listening to the sound of hissing compressed air, they tell you it will be ready in ten minutes? Couldnt you have said that around, um, 10 seconds in? Was the wait really necessary? Never mind that they didnt even really show you how to hook it up to the compressed air canister. Arguably the most important part of the whole "balloon blowing process". Who cant turn a valve? If you're saying "I cant" then, well, you need to get on that immediately.

Also, why even bother with the techno-ish background music? Isnt the hissing enough?

On a positive note: My hat goes off to you if you able to sit and listen to hissing, screeching air for ten whole minutes. I couldn't do it. I'd last longer than if i had to listen to Midnight Train to GA, or Daddys Home, but i'd be begging for deafness at the two minute mark.

Ps. I timed myself. 7 seconds. With a hangover it was 2.

Simple things make me happy

Aquariums make me happy.
NYC in the a.m. makes me really REALLY happy (so quiet and nice!)
Singer songwriters that arent bob dylan make me happy.
Hearing* a new good record make me happy also, but especially when they are good ones that i probably wouldnt have strolled across had it not been for someone else's generosity/musical know!

So im SPREADING THE WEALTH!

Ouch man!


This whole record is like if Cat Stevens (guitar), Shuggie Otis (hippie) and JJ Cale (bottom dweller/diane arbus subjects) all beat up Bob Dylan. Van Morisson was there, but he was too drunk to do anything except pee on himself. I really hate the whole "comparison list of artists who people sound like" but if you cant beat them, join them I guess. And while all the articles on him mention BD, and some mention SO and CS, no one mentioned the similarity to JJ Cale. And im like, "why not?".

In my opinion, they sound similar-ish, but their content is different. Wheras this Rodriguez guy sorta covers the "gil scott heron drug junkie sad people territory" but with an added "foo foo at you" twist (more later), JJ Cale got the dirty folks doing dirty things and was sort of a lover about the whole thang. Even when he was ripping his subject a new one.

Even when the lyrics arent dirty, the songs are still dirty, right? This is a nice one of his.


But back to Mr. Sixto.

A cursory review of Mr Sixto Rodgriguez shows that he was pretty much ignored in the USA, but ran for public office in Detroit.
Full circle huh? He also kinda looks like Carlos Santana. Which would make me ignore him also. On a physical level. The content of his songs would make me ignore him on a sexual level. But more on this later.

So this catchy record played a time or so on my speakers while i did stuff. And i liked it. A more thorough review of his record in the shower revealed a sort of inner layer to this otherwise catchy in a sneaky way record.

Yes. i listen to music in the shower. But i digress: the majority of songs on this record are dis' songs. Sure they are kinda like, tame by todays standards, but a dis is a dis! Im wondering who this Rodriguez dude was writing about- she (or he) must have been something else! He doesnt love her, insinuates that shes a slut, and then writes a record about her. Which means he protests too much. Which can make for sonic entertainment if done properly. And its done properly here. Plus, how many years its been (if ever) have you have heard the word "sex" used as a VERB in a song? (ok: i wanna sex you up: sex is a verb there). Although its not my favorite song on the record, "I wonder" is worth a listen. Sounds like Buddy Holly, but twisted lyrics about said whore and who she's been spreading it around to and whether she knows who is next. Hey Rod! She knows who ISNT next! You brother. You got a bad attitude!

Sad. They blew it, huh?

Oh massive attack. OH the PAIN. How much did i LOVE this band when Blue Lines came out? I loved it as much as i love ice cream. I loved this record. I was in love with this record. Sure, a few turkeys were on it. And then protection came out, and i was like um.... ok. Then Mezzanine. P fucking U.

But yes, Massive Attack and Nellee Hooper. Sigh. Sad right? Only if you ascribe to the "have to make more than 1 great album" standard to continue to be relevant, which i sorta don't. To me, one great record is better than 2 shitty ones.

But it stings. That Mez record is all sorts of awful. I never listened to them again.

Cue violins.

ITS BACK! I FOUND IT!

Pet Peeve? WTF is that?
Ah, now that summers over, I really can enjoy this.  Looks like they pulled it (my link is dead) and someone found it again. Here's to that person! You made my day!

Note: Please vote for "pet peeve" in the contest. B/c there is NO WAY that "New Jersey is one of the best states in New Jersey" can win. NO. 

Songs about Witches, Bores and Slots

You know its going to be "one of those days" when you've been up an hour and this song infests your brain.


Hmm. I guess Supersonic is a better song. But this song concentrates more on their "whoreishness" and therefore is slightly more entertaining lyrics wise.

Bonus! They like cars too! Cars that backfire!

See, i dont dig this song. Its kinda stupid. 

No song re: a bad car will EVER BE BETTER THAN Public Enemy's ode to the 98 Olds. Phaps the ugliest car in history. PU!  Its really one fugly-ass car.  I was told it is the old cop car.  I dunno if that is true.  But here is what IS true: as was the case with the cheap/crappy technology that made classic hip hop (literally and figuratively), the shiteous 98 Olds is a classic lemonade thing.*  And by that i mean lemons to, not "still is/bruce willis".


How many many times have my better half and I screamed this song (and raised our fists!) out our windows from our...um, not a 98 Olds! Its on auto-trigger now, kinda like "walking in the rain" when it rains. Public Enemy rarely made me laugh (with them as opposed to at their hypocrisy) and this song makes me realize that if Chuck woulda chill'd I may have liked PE more.
Cos I really wasnt that big a fan.

And sophisticated whatever from this record sucks. Again, 1 song will forever be known in my brain as the ultimate "bitch dis" song. Obv this is NSFW.



WEEEEEE! Bitch eat shit and die! WAHHAAHAAHHAA. Others have come close, but as far as laffs per minute, this song KILLS. It makes up for "are we there yet". Wait, no it doesn't.

Note for Stephanie: I almost put AMG's bitch betta have my money up. 100% USDA GRADE A BEEF! CALL ME!
Note for everyone else: Stephanie rocked my world with this song when we were in college. I dont think I ever laughed so hard from a cd booklet. Listen to it with headphones on.

BONUS BONUS!
SInce i got on the topics of dis'n'song, I shouldn't forget this gem:
The ode to hubris! And a SMART song.

See, he was smart waaay before he married that GODDESS Coco. This song is pretty brilliant. Each part attacks a certain "sub genre" of Moron Arrogantis. And coming from NY, Im WELL ACQUAINTED with this animal (that, mind you, eats its own poop, but more on this later, if ever). Not that it only comes from new york: in FACT, the most fascinating specimen of moron arrogantis was sighted in Austin Texas. Serious. He was of a sub genre not really addressed in this song, but, I wont hold Ice Ts omission against him. Im fine with the "hardass/dumbass", "flash cashers" and "hot shit for ten minutes, then just plain cold shit forevermore" he deals with. But the broader issue seems to be the old adage about empty barrels making the most noise. Moron Arrogantis is the walking breathing equivalent of this maxim. And this is its anthem. So WISE! WISE WISE WISE!
Wise enough to allow me to ignore his frequent abuses of the female bathing suit in his videos.